Sometimes I find myself scrolling through my Instagram or Facebook feed, not knowing where the past two and a half hours went, feeling like I haven’t accomplished anything, my internal voice telling me I am lazy. Meanwhile, that same inner voice runs rampant, ‘oh she’s so skinny – I don’t look like that’, ‘that cake looks delicious – that’s why I’m such a blob’, ‘look at that watercolour – I wish I was that talented’… and the further I dig into my feed, the further I bury my head in this whirlpool of negativity and self-bashing. It’s an effort to drag myself away, and I never feel good after spending so much time on my social media, making it more of an effort to actually move on to a more productive activity.
However, on the occasion that I spend those two and a half hours curled up on my couch or bed, nose in a book – whether it’s one I’ve already read and loved, or one I’m discovering for the first time- I never feel like that time is wasted. Just recently, I joined Goodreads.com which is a great resource for finding new books based on your previously enjoyed genres, categories, and specific books. I trawled through the Fiction-Fantasy section (my 5-starred books included the Harry Potter, Divergent, and Hunger Games series, in addition to some old favourite authors, Tamora Pierce, Garth Nix, and Dan Brown). I’ve always enjoyed fantasy books and the worlds, so incredibly different from our own, that are created to be the perfect escape from reality.
When I was younger, I used to keep a pile of books on my bedside table, and I would read until my eyelids couldn’t stay open, and the words began swimming across the page as I drifted into sleep. Time and technology has replaced that bedtime ritual with incessant scrolling on my phone or tablet, digesting absolutely zero content of use, my eyes never tiring due to the artificial light a few inches from my face. Eventually, I switch over to youtube to find a guided meditation but it’s always later than I intend, thanks to my sheer time-wasting.
With baby making her appearance sometime in the new few weeks, I am hoping to shift my time-wasting phone habits to time-passing reading habits again, and I hope she learns to love books like I still do, deep down.